Cocker /  Senior /   Mackey /  Banks /  Doyle

Oh children of the future, conceived in the toilets of Meadowhall, to be raised on cheap corn snacks and garage food, rolling empty cans down the stairwell. Don't you love that sound? Like the thoughts of a bad social worker rattling around his head, trying to remember what he learned in training college. "Mester said you wasn't allowed in here so why don't you get lost?" And if you're good when you grow up maybe you can live on Kelvin. Yeah, you can live in Kelvin and promenade the concrete walkways where pigeons go to die. A woman on the 14th floor noticed that her ceiling was bulging as if under a great weight. When the council investigated they discovered that the man in the flat above had transported a large quantity of soil into his living room in which several plants he had stolen from the local park were growing. When questioned, the man said that all he had wanted was a garden. Oh God, I think the future has been deep fried...deep fried in Kelvin. And now it's rotting behind the remains of a stolen motorbike. "I never touched it, honest, but there was nothing else to do". We don't need your sad attempts at social conscience based on taxi rides home at night from exhibition openings. We just want your car radio and bass reflex speakers. Now.